52.

His grace has brought me safe thus far //

and grace will lead me on.

It is amazing to me how grace works.

I'm baffled by it every single time I'm it's recipient.

This past year brought alot of very hard things.

Which meant that grace became a close friend of mine.

And today was no different.

It was as if God wanted to remind me that I would

never grow out of my need for it.

I will never be so old or mature that I will no longer crave it.

My day was absolutely lovely,

I got a manicure, went to chipotle for lunch with my mom and sisters,

and went shopping, and in the midst of it all, something happened to remind me

of a very painful situation that's been a part of my life over the past few months.

As the angry thoughts started, and I asked God why,

TODAY

of all days this had to get brought up, because I

really didn't want to have to deal with it.

Because I didn't think I could deal with it.

I battled wrong emotions for a little bit

and then God simply breathed a question into my mind.

"Why are you dwelling on that relationship, the relationship that has caused

you so much pain, when you've been so blessed today with so much

kindness from so many people?"

And really, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

I'm positive a girl has never been so loved on on her birthday before.

I've been overwhelmed with txt's, emails, FB wall posts,

phone calls, cards, and presents.

So tonight as I sat around the dinner table with some of the people that I love

the very most in the whole entire world, laughing and talking...

I felt grace.

Grace that enabled me to laugh.

and forgive.

and rejoice.

and give thanks for what I DO have.

Thank you my friends, for loving me, and for all the many ways

you showed me that love today.

Probably not your most conventional birthday post.

but there it is folks.

Leave the broken, irreversible past in God's hands, and step out into the invincible future with Him.

[oswald chambers]

My manicure buddies + mom who's not in the picture.